All is good :)

Me, Colin and Stacey

Me, my face was a bit white tho :( Spray tan plus make up not Good!!

Ok, wedding is gone!! Man i had a great time there!! I was sooo nervous walking down the aisle!! haha i was thinking to myself "and breath!!" I will attach some photos to this post :)

Good news, i am down to 117.5 so i only have 7.5 to lose before james' 30th!! Its getting there!! Which also means about 5 kgs off in about 2 months? Im proud with that!

Food wise, i am going back to tony fergurson shakes again for breakfast, and have bought some of their meals for when i cant eat what others are eating for tea. I went to have one for lunch yesterday, but i didnt cut the top and it exploded in the microwave! it DID smell good tho, so i went to buy that one again! haha!

My asthma has been really bad lately, i am on steriod type tabs to open my airways up as my puffers cant get down to help :(

Anyways only a short post today, but will post again soon!!

Mel.!

It's been a week!!

Its been about a week since i have blogged, alot has happened in that time...

I have signed up for the 6 week challenge at the gym, mum and i are doing it. I am not doing it to win, i am doing it for myself to get back into the fitness, i havent been to the gym this week, i have had the sorest hip, and have a limp going on, i dont know why or how it happened but its annoying.

Tomorrow i am booked in for a spray tan, so we know what day it looks best, so we know when to have it done for the wedding, i am a spray tan virgin, i am excited! So today is bath time, exfoliate etc and get ready for it!

I dont know if i have posted this or not, but i have found the dress i am going to wear, and the shoes, i will order them from the net on tuesday should get them next week sometime.

Food wise, i havent been eating as much lately, like hardly anything really. I havent got no more fill or nothing, its just a random thing. I dont go see my surgeon till october i think it is.

I will upload some newer photos one day soon, my batterys went dead at pink, so i need to buy some more, but i have some on my pc, will aim to do it next time i blog!

Mel.!

Success!!!

Man am i exhausted. The good news is, we found a dress! OMG OMG! It is soo beautiful! it is black, has a red sash ribbon under the boobs which goes into a bow, its strapless, and has tulle stuff on the bottom. Verry nice indead! and matches the flower girl's dresses! and at $110 its a bargain!! What makes it even better, is dad is buying it for me !! OMG!

I am not a dress person, i hate my arms, i hate my stomach, but both will be fixed on the night :) A Cardi top, and a sucker-innera if i think its needed, the dress dont show much of my belly so that is great!! I will be having red shoes, and red jewelery, spray tan, thats all i can think of!

Thats it for me, im stuffed!!

Mel.!

1.4 off, bridesmaid, new glasses!! OH YAY!

Man what an eventful time i have had since last posting here. Yesterday afternoon/night i was shopping in town with mum looking for dresses for the wedding, and brothers 30th, when my mate rings (whos wedding it is) asking what i was doing? i told her i was looking for a dress for the wedding, she said well dont! im like oh, ok i will just wear one from home then? she said no! My bridesmaid cant make it over, and i want you to be my bridesmaid, will you?" i was soo speachless haha ofcourse i said yes! Only problem, there is only going to be 1 bridesmaid! Crap! I told her i was going to cry at the wedding the other week, her finace said "give mel all your crying cos you cant cry and get your makeup ruined!" lol looks like i cant cry now either! haha!

So today we are going to melbourne looking for a dress for me, we went to town last night saw a few nice ones but going to go see what mleb has to offer. The wedding is in first week of sept remember! Oh God! Its going to be a fun as day today, and i feel so honoured to be her bridesmaid!!

Ok, so i weighed myslelf this morning, i have lost 1.4 in the last week, thats good for me! Now i have this extra thing to look forward to, i going to work even harder!! I know i need to buy some of them sucker-innera knickers cos of my belly, its going down but i didnt like the way it looked in a dress last night haha! Apparently we going to a $20 bra shop today aswell to get her some bra's, for $20 and to fit her and her to reccomend them, i think thats good! hopefully they have the sucker-innera's there aswell haha! So got to wear a proper bra today, not a old one like yesterday lol

I went to smorgys (all you can eat place) last night for tea cos it was my cousins 14th b'day. Me and mum were going to go to the pub but still had 30 mins before it opened so met them there and joined them, i got in as a child which saved mum like $8 i think it was, all up i think i had an entree plate of food if even that! Their roast beef was sooooo delish!! Gravy was needed ofcourse, but soo tender and didnt even need to cut it, just pull it away with the fork!! MMM!!

Ok, i need to shower and get ready for the day, i will blog tonight if i have some enerfgy left, i got my new glasses yesterday, i will take a pic and upload it later! i love them!

Mel.!

I am feeling great!!!!

Ok, 2 days at the gym in a row! im pleased with myself. Although i only stayed about 30 mins, as my chest was playing up. I got home and took my "open airways tablets" and will actually finish the course this time and make them better. I did 10 mins on bike to warm up, and then 20 mins on treadmill again the same. I am going to go over there soon, dad is now home from his weight loss place he goes to, so he can come with me aswell.

I did weigh myself this morning, yesterday i was 121 i think today i was 119.8 i even had to show dad, i cant remember the last time i was under 120. i am honestly glad that this weight is starting to come off again, i have been around the same weight for soo long now, i was just lazy and didnt want to go to gym, too cold, etc but i was pretty sick over winter, chest infections every month atleast, as soon as 1 cleared up i got another! I was over it!

For tea last night, it was only me eating, brother has gastro, mum sick aswell. So i bought that pork scotch fillet meat, i LOVE it! Had one of them, some mashed sweet potatoe and a few peas and corn. Yummy! Although i chucked about half my meat out cos got full haha oh well!

As i mentioned, my brother has gastro, spent 2 hours up the drs with him last night, spew bucket in hand. Its yuck! i dont want to catch it so i told him he HAS to stay in bed in his room with his door closed so the germs dont spread to me (my room right opposite his) We have pink on sunday night, and i have been waiting to see her for soo long, i dont want to get sick and have to miss it.

I am still on the lookout for a dress for december time, i went looking yesterday there are some nice things out there, but if im going to be loosing more weight than i normally do by then, i will prob get one in november/september in like the spring carnival sales they normally have. Can get some good buys then!!

Thats it for now, i will try and blog tonight if i get a chance, if not tomorrow some time.

Mel.!

My REAL fresh start!!

I know i have said it before, but i MEAN it this time! i am starting afresh, the past is behind me, as a matter of fact, i am going to have a burning ceremony, where i write down everything from the past that troubles me, and me and a mate will put ours in a tin and set them on fire, and forget all about them!

I have my brothers 30th birthday in december, being his only sibling i kinda have to do a speech, he tends to have about 130 people there approx. Most of them i will know, most of them i wont, people like his work mates or friends i havent met etc. I have set myself a goal to be 110 kgs or lower by then, i would REALLY like to be 100 or 99 to show myself i CAN do it, but i will set 110 as my goal for now, but work towards the other one as hard as i can. I am currently 122.2 so thats 12 kgs i need to loose, i know i can do it.

How am i going to do this you ask? well, i have a gym membership which i havent been using, but i went today with my parents, and have conned them into coming when i go now :) I did 30 mins on the treadmill, incline 5.0 speed 6.0 (fast for me as i dawdle haha) and had my heart rate up in the 170's!! I have to watch i dont push self too much tho as i have my asthma back and that playing up abit, so i make sure that is always with me at the gym now. I did bikes for 30 mins aswell. First day back, and im proud of myself.

I am also making this as my pledge, that i AM going to stop eating junk food, yes i know its easy to eat when you cant eat it, but i HAVE to stop it, i can not loose weight eating that crap! We are cooking meals almost every night at home now, i have taught mum the more colour on the plate, the better it is for you. I am using a bread and butter plate as my meal plate each night, if mum dishes up on something else, she knows it haha! Even then i dont eat it all. We are having alot of different things, i dont think we have had the same thing twice in a month? Dad is liking it atleast. Tonight is home made pies. Dont know how i will go with them, we have made peppered kangaroo and mushroom, and a chicken, potato and leek one. We are using low fat ready made puff pastry lol

I am going to be keeping track of my measurements on here aswell, so that will help inspire me, and hopefully others and keep me determined to do this goal!! I want to look amazing for his party!! I dont want him to feel ashamed of having a fat sister :( I don't think he does, but the thought is often in my head.

Mel.!

A fresh start!

When i saw brad moving someone else into the unit with him, i think it really set in that i am over him for good, I know i can do ALOT better (and mum tells me everyday to help me realise this) I just now have to go out and find someone. I want to go out and find someone now, i want to feel loved again, to feel wanted, to feel like i am worth something to someone. In the last few days, i have had 2 people come up to me telling me complete and utter bullshit about me, that i have apparently done, or said, and im over it.

I wish people can just keep their mouths shut, Bradley included. I had someone who i went to school with come up to me, and tell me that she knows i had my stomach tied or whatever i had done, that he cheated on me not long after i got it done because he knew i was going to change in appearance, and in myself as in self esteem etc and i dont think he would have liked that, she said other stuff aswell, which not too many people know about me, and i was soo pissed off. The next day was when i went over to confront him about it, and some chick i went to school with was moving in. For someone who didnt want kids, cos he didnt want that sort of responsibility, the two people i know he has been with has both been with kids included!

New subject! I am joining the gym near me, I AM going to use it this time, it has the pool, spa, sauna, gym, classes etc there, so it is better money than the one i was at before, and mum is joining aswell with me. But i am going to get over my fear of going to the gym on my own, I need to loose this weight, loose this fat around my stomach that wont budge no matter how hard i trying, and tone up etc. I dont know how much i have lost at the moment, last i knew it was about 37 kgs, i am off to the doctors tomorrow and will get weighed then, my weight kinda went up abit over the christmas NY period, but i hope i have it under control again. I am still doing the tony fergurson shakes for breakfast, and having healthy snacks during day such as fruit etc. I have an appt to go see the dietitian on the 4th of feb so hoping she can help out a bit with some other things i can do.

I need to go through all my clothes, take pics etc and send them to a friend from tafe, cos i am going out drinking on the 31st of jan for my bday (2nd feb) and she said she gonna help me "get dolled up in order to pick up" haha it wont happen but its worth trying right? I have soo many clothes to wear out now that i actually feel comfortable in!!

Tafe starts up again soon, i SOOO can't wait i cant wait to get this cert over and done with so i can find a job in childcare, and then see if i can do the diploma through there. then after that is over and done with, i REALLY want to go to uni to do kinder teaching degree! that would be awesome!! Soo fun!! I loved kinder, i had to go a year earlier cos my brain was too fast or something and i would just fall down and sleep? i dont know mum does tell me i just tune out haha so my brother keeps telling me i failed kinder! haha!

Anyways, i have heaps of stuff i need to do, until next time ....

Mel.!